It’s the new house and I’m four. I’m allowed to walk to my girlfriend’s yard all by myself. When I come home from playing, my giant white stuffed animal – the one shaped like a cat that’s taller than I am and has glittery green plastic jewels for eyes – is sitting on the curb,…
My mother’s turmoil has returned
My mother’s turmoil has returned. It’s the new house. I’m four. I’m standing in the corner of my bedroom, facing the wall. I’m being punished but I don’t know what I’ve done. The wallpaper in my room is very interesting. It has the alphabet on it, with pictures to match each letter. A is for…
My brother says that I cannot see Canada
I am four. My dad and I are sharing a birthday cake, blowing out the candles together. This excites me – that we get to share something. It makes me feel special, to celebrate something with my dad that no one else is part of. And I love cake. My dad was born the day…
I’m crying because the President has been shot
I have a babysitter one afternoon and her name is Penny. My brother's not home yet. He's at nursery school. My grandma will be bringing him home soon. I am three and Penny is a joy to me. She wears a plaid skirt; knee socks and brown penny loafers, which she's very proud of. I…
I have a real mother somewhere who is not this one
There is a woman in my house who takes care of things. I've awoken with so much sleep in my eyes that I can't open them. I'm convinced I've gone blind. I'm nearly three. Terrified, I slip out of bed and run down the short hallway to the kitchen. I can almost see. My eyes…
I can separate it out by houses
I can separate it out by houses; the ebb and flow of my mother’s turmoil. She was my adoptive mother. In the modern, forward-thinking times of the early 1960s, it was thought best that I be told from the beginning that I'd been adopted. “We were very excited,” my mother explained to me when I…
In the Shadow of Narcissa 